Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Have You Seen This?
What's wrong with this world? If America gets any worse I'm moving to Canada or some other countries. This is wrong.
***LANGUAGE WARNING**** PG-13
***LANGUAGE WARNING**** PG-13
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Chattanooga Humor
A little humor from Chattanooga , TN
This was featured in a major national car modification magazine.
When driving in Chattanooga:
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is
"Chatt-A-neew-guh". You must pronounce the " A".
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chattanooga has its
own version of traffic rules... the truck with the loudest exhaust goes
next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
(Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Chattanooga it is required that you know where
the "Ridge Cut" is... which is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and
the end.
4. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour
is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "153" and "the orange barrel rd" are the same
road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Chattanooga. The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a
bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars,
opossum, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or
vultures feeding on any of these items.
9. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated".
10. The minimum acceptable speed on I-24 is 85 mph. Anything less is
considered downright sissy. This is the Chattanooga version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
12. If you are in the left lane and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone...you
are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city
driving.
14. If it's 110 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
15. If it's 10-20 degrees and sleeting/snowing, then watch out,
Chattanooga residents consider this "demolition derby day" and will be
all over the roads (front ways, back ways, etc). Please proceed with
caution as you could be their next target. Also note that the mere
possibility of ice on the road will shut down all schools and most
businesses until the crisis passes. Heck, they'll shut down if its even
humid.
16. The Hamilton Place Mall intersections" are considered one of the
city's most exciting amusement attractions. Beware though... they are
not for the faint of heart!
17. East Brainerd Rd and Gunbarrell Rd convert to parking lots during
all holidays and weekends. Please enter these streets cautiously, find
the nearest parking space and walk to the mall for the quickest access.
This was featured in a major national car modification magazine.
When driving in Chattanooga:
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is
"Chatt-A-neew-guh". You must pronounce the " A".
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chattanooga has its
own version of traffic rules... the truck with the loudest exhaust goes
next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
(Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Chattanooga it is required that you know where
the "Ridge Cut" is... which is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and
the end.
4. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour
is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "153" and "the orange barrel rd" are the same
road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Chattanooga. The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a
bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars,
opossum, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or
vultures feeding on any of these items.
9. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated".
10. The minimum acceptable speed on I-24 is 85 mph. Anything less is
considered downright sissy. This is the Chattanooga version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
12. If you are in the left lane and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone...you
are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city
driving.
14. If it's 110 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
15. If it's 10-20 degrees and sleeting/snowing, then watch out,
Chattanooga residents consider this "demolition derby day" and will be
all over the roads (front ways, back ways, etc). Please proceed with
caution as you could be their next target. Also note that the mere
possibility of ice on the road will shut down all schools and most
businesses until the crisis passes. Heck, they'll shut down if its even
humid.
16. The Hamilton Place Mall intersections" are considered one of the
city's most exciting amusement attractions. Beware though... they are
not for the faint of heart!
17. East Brainerd Rd and Gunbarrell Rd convert to parking lots during
all holidays and weekends. Please enter these streets cautiously, find
the nearest parking space and walk to the mall for the quickest access.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Little Superstar
Ok this is one of the funniest weirdest things I've ever seen.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gx-NLPH8JeM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gx-NLPH8JeM
Monday, August 27, 2007
First Day.
Hello Members of the Blogosphere!
Today was my first day back to school and here are a few of my observations.
Staying up until 1a.m. the night before isn't such a good idea when you have to get up at 5.
All the girls who were pretty(some even beautiful) last semester but have picked up smoking; now look like total 80yr old skank women.
Geography:
First day I get to class like 2minutes late and lo and behold the girl next to me has a mechanical pencil that squeaks everytime she touches it to paper. Then this like 35yr. old woman is named Teresa and shes like, "No. I go by Skye." What grown woman goes by "Skye"?
Composition 1:
I get to class and sit donw. I'm there like 3 minutes before I realize there is a huge wad of gum like 6in. in diameter under my desk and half stuck to my shorts. So I get up and switch the desk with the one in front of mine. Then, everytime the door opens to the classroom I see this guy walking back and forth down the hall. After 10 minutes of this he finally comes into the classroom and sits in the gum chair. Worst part was, the dude smelled like he had been wallowing in an ashtray.
Biology:
Faulkener, hmm...this class should be a trip. First of, More chair problems. We have a room with chairs that are attached on an arm to the table. Then, the chair has a swivel on it so its basically a desk chair attached to a table. Thus, making it completly impossible to slump because you'll slip out of the chair. Then a man who looks like a total hippie comes into class and guess what his name is. Micheal HASH. Yes, thats right. The hippies real name is HASH.
U.S. History:
Ok, my history class is in the gym. Does anyone else find this strange? Aside from that, our teacher spent 45 minutes of a 50 minute class teaching us how to log-on to our new e-Learn system. Like we couldn't figure it out on our own. The other 5 minutes he spent explaining to us why he would not give us information on the phone. "HIPPA act say I can't give no info." "FERPA say you have the right to privacy and what not."
Bonus Points! This class also has swively chairs and my chair squeaks everytime I breathe.
No more classes yet. Although, I do have a Java 1 class with Mr. Parker on Monday nights so that should be fun.
Talk later
Justin "Joe"
Today was my first day back to school and here are a few of my observations.
Staying up until 1a.m. the night before isn't such a good idea when you have to get up at 5.
All the girls who were pretty(some even beautiful) last semester but have picked up smoking; now look like total 80yr old skank women.
Geography:
First day I get to class like 2minutes late and lo and behold the girl next to me has a mechanical pencil that squeaks everytime she touches it to paper. Then this like 35yr. old woman is named Teresa and shes like, "No. I go by Skye." What grown woman goes by "Skye"?
Composition 1:
I get to class and sit donw. I'm there like 3 minutes before I realize there is a huge wad of gum like 6in. in diameter under my desk and half stuck to my shorts. So I get up and switch the desk with the one in front of mine. Then, everytime the door opens to the classroom I see this guy walking back and forth down the hall. After 10 minutes of this he finally comes into the classroom and sits in the gum chair. Worst part was, the dude smelled like he had been wallowing in an ashtray.
Biology:
Faulkener, hmm...this class should be a trip. First of, More chair problems. We have a room with chairs that are attached on an arm to the table. Then, the chair has a swivel on it so its basically a desk chair attached to a table. Thus, making it completly impossible to slump because you'll slip out of the chair. Then a man who looks like a total hippie comes into class and guess what his name is. Micheal HASH. Yes, thats right. The hippies real name is HASH.
U.S. History:
Ok, my history class is in the gym. Does anyone else find this strange? Aside from that, our teacher spent 45 minutes of a 50 minute class teaching us how to log-on to our new e-Learn system. Like we couldn't figure it out on our own. The other 5 minutes he spent explaining to us why he would not give us information on the phone. "HIPPA act say I can't give no info." "FERPA say you have the right to privacy and what not."
Bonus Points! This class also has swively chairs and my chair squeaks everytime I breathe.
No more classes yet. Although, I do have a Java 1 class with Mr. Parker on Monday nights so that should be fun.
Talk later
Justin "Joe"
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Joe Stuff
Well, Its finally here!! The new "Joe" merchandise! Heres some of the pics!
Anyway check back later for more stuff.
Justin "Joe"
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Gigilo
So, I've been thinking about moving to amsterdam and becoming a pimp or a nice drug dealer. You know just like, "Hey, You wanna buy some crack?" or get me a whole fleet of prostidudes and make a whole lota money. Anyway, this is an important turning point in my life so it be nice to get some feedback.
Jmac The Gigilo
Jmac The Gigilo
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Me an My Sweetie
While I was working at riverbend I met this cute girl, I had this great pickup line becaue I was handing out Chatt State fans,"Excuse me mam but, You look hot. Would you like a fan?" and she gave me her number . I started to forget about it but I decided to call her and we got to talkin and she is a student at Chatt State and her name is Monique. She asked me if I wanted to go see a movie and I was like sure. So we went to see Transformers. It turned out that we had a great time and she can dance. Booyah! Love ya sweetie.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
What are you gonna do? Make me crawl up to my room?
Our hotel happens to be joined to everything in the downtown area by a system of tunnels under the streets. These tunnels link each hotel and such to the main feature of this part of d-town; The hospital. These tunnels look like something right out of Resident Evil. You know like in the Hive. They even have the dome cameras. And at the end of the hall is a large stack of deluxe wheelchairs with these big cushy pads and the large feet pads. These chairs are pimped. So me and one of the brothers on the team got 2 of the wheel chairs and took then out of the hotel and up to street level. We then went around the hotel and past a stairwell where 2 of the parents, that had been drinking, were standing. We rode past the stairwell and into the building. We then parked our wheelchairs and proceeded to our own rooms. Then the phone starts ringing and its the 2 parents. They tell us that they were on the way to the bar when they were stopped by a cop car who ask if they had seen two guys in wheelchairs riding around. The parents covered for us and told them that we were with them and had made us get out of the wheelchairs. So, now you guys are reading the blog of an almost convicted wheelchair thief. lol
Anyway, the wheelchairs were put back where they came from and all is well. The title of the blog,"What are you gonna do? Make me crawl up to my room?" came from the other guy. When we were discussing what they could say to us if they didn't want us in their wheelchairs. They couldn't prove we weren't handicaped. Anyway I'm signing off check back later for more news.
Anyway, the wheelchairs were put back where they came from and all is well. The title of the blog,"What are you gonna do? Make me crawl up to my room?" came from the other guy. When we were discussing what they could say to us if they didn't want us in their wheelchairs. They couldn't prove we weren't handicaped. Anyway I'm signing off check back later for more news.
Minnesota or Bust!!
dOK, my family left Thursday for Minnesota and I rode up with one of the team families on the following Saturday. According to Mapquest it takes 14.5 hrs to get from my house to Minnesota. We made it in 14hrs. It took most of the families between 16-19hrs to get there. How did we do it you ask? Because when you put James in a Dodge Magnum and his wife falls asleep, it comes down to the simple fact that,"I want to go fast."-Ricky Bobby.
National Tournaments '07
Well, Leighann made it to nationals. They left thursday morning about 5 a.m. Now to the more important things; I found out that the Joe photo shoot would be on the 28th and I turned 16 on the 27th so everything was good. They (Joe bosses) told us to go get our hair fixed if we were going to and go get haircuts and stuff. So my aunt works in a hair salon and does everyone in the familys hair. I went to see her and she was like its your birthday so I'll do it. We bleached out my hair and it was this really cool white gold color. But, I couldn't go that way to the photo shoot. She took and put toner in it and when we took it off my hair was gold-orange. I freaked. Anyone who knows me knows I like my hair. Not that I'm obsessed with it, I just like it. So, I'm like you've got to fix it and now it's this color. So, do you like it? Leave me a comment.
Anyway, the photo shoot took 5 hrs. but the photographer was a great guy. And those of you who know me can see me on billboards this fall.
Anyway, the photo shoot took 5 hrs. but the photographer was a great guy. And those of you who know me can see me on billboards this fall.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Pics at Midnight
These were taken of a random family in downtown Chattanooga. Thanks for posing you guys. :)
Click on the pictures to see a larger version.
Click on the pictures to see a larger version.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
No money
56 hours Amount of Hours Worked As A "Joe"
X$9.14 Hourly Rate for "Joe" Work
$511.84 Amount of Money They Don't Owe Me
Tricking Your Employees Into Working Out of Contract
Priceless
X$9.14 Hourly Rate for "Joe" Work
$511.84 Amount of Money They Don't Owe Me
Tricking Your Employees Into Working Out of Contract
Priceless
Dorks, Whale Penis, and Adam Underwood. Oh My!
This is a blog from myspace that I posted a few weeks ago, but its fun reading. :)
Ok so, I went to Fall Creek Falls this past week with for the home-schoolers family week. Anyway, Friday morning I got up and a bunch of friends and me, about 15 of us, took the flat bottom boats up the river. In my boat were 4 girls: Krystal, a 19 yr. old CNA, Lexie, a 15 or 16 yr old., Allison, a 19 yr. old college student and preachers kid, and Shoeey, a 16 yr old. So half way up the river Krystal goes Justin your a dork. And I say do you know what that means and she says no. I said its the Scientific Definition for a Whales penis'. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dork
And we just laughed it off. The ^dictionary^ didn't mention the whale part.
Well a couple of hrs. later I see Adam Underwood, a local pastor and father of Allison. I sit down to talk to him because he used to give my mom piano lessons and our church choir singing lessons. The whole time I was talking to him he seemed distracted. Later that night we had chapel and he gave was the speaker. At 10 that night we were all gathered in the mess hall b/c it was leftover night and you could eat anything that was in the fridge. Adam comes up to me and says Can I speak with you for a minute? and i'm like yeah. So he takes me out next to the woods behind the mess hall and by this point i'm getting a little freaked out and he says,"You don't know me and I don't know you, but one of my daughters were in the boat with you this afternoon and apparently you said some pretty vulgar things." and I said, "Sir, I don't know what your talking about." and he says," I've ask around and I can't get anyone to repeat it but it was something about a whales anatomy." And I started laughing at him and I'm like,"Yeah, Krystal called me a dork and I ask her if she knew what it meant." I told him the same thing it says at the top of the blog. And he says,"Do you think that was honoring God?" and I knew he wanted to hear No so I said no. and Hes like," It may be a fact but theres even words in the Bible that we don't use anymore." Then, hes like,"Are you a christian?" and I'm like yeah. And he says well I'm gonna ask you to go apologize to my daughter Allison. (Allison is the 19 yr. old.)
So I go to Allison and I'm like," I apologize if anything I said in the boat this afternoon offended you." And shes like,"Yeah, I've been home schooled always and been in college a year and it suprised me."
Now come, on your 19 yrs old and a 15 yr old giving someone else a definition that includes the word penis? Thats a little ridiculous. You can't live in denial forever. Penis really do exist.
Sincerly,
Jmac
P.S. I apologize if me using the words whale penis offended youand I promise not to say whale penis anymore in your presence. So to end I'm sorry for saying whale penis and let this be my formal apology to the Sequatchie Valley Christian Home Schoolers for soiling their daughters minds.
P.S.S. Don't you have to take anatomy and physiology even if your a home schooler?
Well....Now who wants to screw with people's myspace accounts?
My cousin is 12 yrs. old and I was at his house this morning and used his computer to check my myspace. Since, I was fixin to leave for work (at Riverbend(See Below)) I just walked away from his computer without bothering to logout. Well about 2 hours later I got a phone call from this girl I know and she was like, "Did you myspace me?" and I'm like no and she says well then someones hacked your myspace b/c they're messaging me. So, when I get back on my laptop I find this message in the inbox.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: JMAC
Date: Jun 10, 2007 1:56 PM
i never told anybod this and im even kind of nerves telling you espesialy but i like you
So, I'm like, "Andre!".
Well, I'm furious because he's been messing with my myspace and I'm not getting paid. When my aunt pulls up to pick me up from the festival I found out why Andre was in the car with us. He had gotten a VTD. A Virtually Transmitted Disease. I'm now posting this from the Children's Hospital around the corner from the festival.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: JMAC
Date: Jun 10, 2007 1:56 PM
i never told anybod this and im even kind of nerves telling you espesialy but i like you
So, I'm like, "Andre!".
Well, I'm furious because he's been messing with my myspace and I'm not getting paid. When my aunt pulls up to pick me up from the festival I found out why Andre was in the car with us. He had gotten a VTD. A Virtually Transmitted Disease. I'm now posting this from the Children's Hospital around the corner from the festival.
We Need Girlfriends
This is a great set of webisodes by Ragtag Productions. Its a gotta watch thing. This is Episode 1 and you can see the other ones on the right side of the screen. If Darth Vader shows up ignore him and refresh the page or click a different video.
My Life Today (6-10-07)
Ok so I'll start by telling you all who I'am.
I'm Justin McAfee. I'm 15 and will be 16 in just a few short days. I'm in college even though I should just be a sophmore in high school. (I'm smart) I have two parents Kimball (Dad) & Terri (Mom). Mom is a stay at home mother raising my 3 sisters and me while dad works as a technician for his company where he works on tufting machines (the big machines that make carpet). My sisters are 12 , 6, and 2 yrs. old. Leighann the 12 yr. old is a basketball nut. She plays for Tennessee Xtreme. They were 2nd in the nation in 2006 and they intend to take the title this year. They also hold the highest scoring game in AAU Women's Basketball 12U history and are listed in the Women's Basketball Hall Of Fame and Won the Tennessee State Tournament for both AAU and YBOA. Lauren, the 6 yr. old, is a 2nd grader and hates school so Mom might home school her this coming fall. Alayna, the 2 yr. old, is a terrible toddler. Not really I love her. Anyway back to being in college. My college has a campaign going called the "Ask Joe!" campaign. I recently auditioned for a part as a "Joe". I was ecstatic; the college pays us $9.14/hr., book money, and gas mileage. So, that was 2 months ago. Because of budgeting issues we don't go under contract until July when the new budget starts. Well I've been working for the college every chance I could because I needed money for a trip to the National Young Leaders Conference in D.C. in November, but the tution is due in July. So, I went and worked a day at a parade. Then, at a golf tournament. Then, this week I started working as a "Joe" for the Riverbend Festival in Chattanooga, Tennessee. All this time I had been working would have meant a lump sum of cash coming in just days before my tution will be due. But, It didn't work out that way. After working a total of almost 56 hours, my boss tells me tonight that I won't be paid for ANY of the hours I worked because I'm not under contract yet. Which means, I was a volunteer this whole time. This money means alot to me and now I find out I'll be recieving none of it. The nomination to go on the NYLC trip is a really big deal and with my sister going to nationals that puts my family needing $5000 by June 25th. As you can imagine this royally sucks and therefore makes it interesting enough to stick in a blog. :)
I'm Justin McAfee. I'm 15 and will be 16 in just a few short days. I'm in college even though I should just be a sophmore in high school. (I'm smart) I have two parents Kimball (Dad) & Terri (Mom). Mom is a stay at home mother raising my 3 sisters and me while dad works as a technician for his company where he works on tufting machines (the big machines that make carpet). My sisters are 12 , 6, and 2 yrs. old. Leighann the 12 yr. old is a basketball nut. She plays for Tennessee Xtreme. They were 2nd in the nation in 2006 and they intend to take the title this year. They also hold the highest scoring game in AAU Women's Basketball 12U history and are listed in the Women's Basketball Hall Of Fame and Won the Tennessee State Tournament for both AAU and YBOA. Lauren, the 6 yr. old, is a 2nd grader and hates school so Mom might home school her this coming fall. Alayna, the 2 yr. old, is a terrible toddler. Not really I love her. Anyway back to being in college. My college has a campaign going called the "Ask Joe!" campaign. I recently auditioned for a part as a "Joe". I was ecstatic; the college pays us $9.14/hr., book money, and gas mileage. So, that was 2 months ago. Because of budgeting issues we don't go under contract until July when the new budget starts. Well I've been working for the college every chance I could because I needed money for a trip to the National Young Leaders Conference in D.C. in November, but the tution is due in July. So, I went and worked a day at a parade. Then, at a golf tournament. Then, this week I started working as a "Joe" for the Riverbend Festival in Chattanooga, Tennessee. All this time I had been working would have meant a lump sum of cash coming in just days before my tution will be due. But, It didn't work out that way. After working a total of almost 56 hours, my boss tells me tonight that I won't be paid for ANY of the hours I worked because I'm not under contract yet. Which means, I was a volunteer this whole time. This money means alot to me and now I find out I'll be recieving none of it. The nomination to go on the NYLC trip is a really big deal and with my sister going to nationals that puts my family needing $5000 by June 25th. As you can imagine this royally sucks and therefore makes it interesting enough to stick in a blog. :)
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